The Pursuit of the Elusive Illusion

Me thinks: What was i thinking when I named this blog?
Me thinks (in response):
Life is an elusive illusion. You always crave for something thats just beyond your reach. That little something more - that something you think, if you have, will be your little panacea to all your little troubles. Think I was born with one thing in my head -'Ooh i need to be the best. Life isn'tworth living otherwise'. Whereever I go. Whatever I do. Be it a math problem or a mission to Mars.
Course, didn't strike me then that it wasn't sustainable. Didn't strike me later when it should've struck me. Don't get me wrong - I still believe in the pursuit of excellence. However, this I'm saying from a 'locus of identity' point of view. Its about defining yourself. Oftentimes through the years, I'd think 'My life would be soo made if only..'. Just typing it still makes me think of twenty different outcomes I'd love to have filled out there. There is (I hope) just one small difference between then and now. I'd love a hundred different things tomorrow - sure. But they don't change who I fundamentally am. Having that one little thing that would 'make my life' is an 'elusive illusion'. I can try all I want to get it - its still an 'illusion' of happiness that I'm lusting after. If I'm not happy today, chances are I won't be once I get that magical something either - there would be a 'magical-er' something then.
Now I'd love to go into what happiness is and what life is for - but I digress. Point of this post actually being (yes, there was one :D): The sooner your identity and your self-worth is tied to your principles and the 'person' that you are - the sooner you actually have fun chasing your own elusive illusion :) - having 'fun' being the key.