Well I'm back; writing for the first time in atleast a year! What prompted this? Well, I was reading my own posts, and I suddenly realised this year has probably been the most definitive.
From the girl who was easily the snootiest in school to someone who didn't give a rat's ass in her under graduation to now - Its been long, hard and Phew!!
One minute I'm in a cozy complacent world, in the comfort of my own (large!) bedroom with food cooked and hot, where my biggest worry was 'Did i get enough sleep last night?' and the next, well, I'm in a room where I'm guaranteed to run into myself if I turn too quickly, with no food, getting thinner (Yes, thinner, If that was possible ;)), and well, getting enough sleep has taken the 2nd place (it still ranks very high, rest be assured) to "Oh my God, I have 'career' prospects to worry about, 'distinctions' to worry about, 'work experience' to worry about".
In One Year, I've had to deal with a new country, new weather, new food, new people, new friends, new course, new degree, new benchmarks - well, a new world to be short - one thats far far away from home. I'd be lying, more than lying if I said it was easy - in fact, it sucks! I've had to deal with 'loneliness' and boy, was that new :P. Sitting here, recounting the number of times I got lost in this place, the number of times I've just been so stressed about how I was scared if I could even cope - as if dealing with finance at LSE wasn't bad enough, I had to worry about where 'in' finance I wanted to be 'after' my course (at the beginning of the course), notwithstanding having to have an opinion about everything on the news - right from the 'economic policies of the election candidates' to 'what should be done with the Greek debt crisis' to 'What the hell has happened to Goldman'. Its actually driving me nuts to think I've lived through those times.
But, now I look back and well, I'm glad and I'm happy. Did I love it? No way. Would I have changed a thing? No way. Its probably the best thing that could've happened to me. I've learnt to live - alone. I've been forced to grow up. Forced to think of life differently. Maybe learnt, just a little bit that I shouldn't take it all so seriously. Forced to acknowledge that there isn't necessarily a middle path, there isn't a 'risk-free' alternative. I know life is full of risks - might as well suck it up and decrease the degree of risk aversion - acknowledge that things can fuck up - and hope like hell for a higher return ;).
4 comments:
looks like someones done with their course (read: knows the jargon). welcome to the real world kid. :D
Just when i was thinking about postgrad in finance abroad i have to read this! sounds sucky. Hope it gives you the returns you started out for.Living alone in a distant land is a great experience. It is awesome that you got to do it.
@Bam: 'You' aren't done with it :P ;)
@Seeker: Oh finance is awesome and the course is awesome - life is a bit hard though - the sooner you find out the better ;). And yes, hardwork is beginning to pay off - thats why the post :P
You know this post is such a bummer for people who are thinking to experience the 'solitary' life of studying overseas!
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